Around
I don’t know how many pop songs have been written about shitting yourself, but I think this might be the most upbeat.
It’s probably also one of the most upbeat song I’ve ever written. Which is kind of strange, considering I wrote it at a time when I was staring one of my most serious periods of darkness in the face.
I was a few months in to a flare up of Ulcerative Colitis — an inflammatory bowel disease I was first diagnosed with in 2014 — which had returned after more than three years in remission. I had all these physical symptoms back — including some top quality pant shitting moments — and I could feel this huge fog of fatigue and depression setting in
Writing this song, I found myself refusing to ignore that; refusing to make the same mistakes I made when I was diagnosed the first time; refusing to simply push those feelings down and just to keeping on keeping on.
I faced up to the reality. I spoke up. I had honest, open, and often very difficult conversations about how I was feeling. I started asking people their best pant shitting stories.
‘Around’ actually came out a few weeks ago, and I’ve only just gotten round to writing, editing and posting about it here on the blog. As I’ve spoken about before, I find releasing music pretty tough emotionally and mentally, and yesterday was a really tough day for me: after six weeks of treatment, the amazing team at the hospital got me in for new blood tests and a whole new treatment plan.
I have this weird tendency to write songs where their true meaning becomes deeper after they’re out. After yesterday, I came back to this song: realising how much it means to me, and how different things are the second time around. A huge part of that is being more open and honest with both myself and others, and so, was when I realised that, I had to get this blog post up without delay.
Over the past six months, I’ve learnt so much about myself; my body; my thoughts and emotions; and about never trusting anyone who doesn’t have a great pant shitting story to share.
iPhone Vlogs: May Half Term
Recently I've been quite tough on myself creatively: only wanting to release more and more polished ideas. This lead to forgetting how much fun it is to simply capture moments as they fly by, imperfect though they may be, and ended up simply making less stuff. So this week, I've tried to shake that feeling off, and gone back to where this blog started: one minute videos and soundtracks — all created on my phone.
Bank Holiday Monday in Greenwich
Yesterday I spent the day in London with two good friends. Luke, Hannah and I spent the afternoon walking round Greenwich.
Rush
'Rush', a brand new track featuring the noodlings of Matt Meat and David Fletcher, is streaming now on Spotify, Apple Music, and other good places music is found.
'Rush' is a song about taking a moment to pause; to notice, but not judge, the thoughts and feelings that can, so quickly, fly past; and to be kind.
Video Blog: Westquay Science Day
A couple of weeks ago, my sister and I took our niece and nephew out for the day.
We headed over to the science day that Winchester Science Centre were running at Westquay. As the snow started to fall, we popped in to Byron Burger for lunch, followed by cookies for pudding. Finally, a trip to Mayflower Park ended with warming hot chocolates back home before saying goodbye.
Instagram Story
Video Blog: Festival of Lights 2018
Last year, Westquay hosted the first Festival of Lights, and looking back on the video blog and soundtrack from an evening trip, it's one of my favourites of the year. This year we took another trip, along with another dinner at Wahaca too.
Instagram Story Archive: Saturday 6 January 2018
An Instagram Story, with original soundtrack from Saturday's breakfast drink with my good friend Pip, followed by a walk through Mayflower Park.
Instagram Story Archive: Friday 5 January 2018
This is an archive of the Instagram Story I took walking around Ocean Village, after work on Friday, with an original soundtrack inspired by the fading light on a cold January evening.
Vlogmas 2017 (Week Four): Christmas Day with Family, Food and Presents
The final week of vlogmas includes the lead up to, and the big days its self.
In the lead up up the big day, there's lot of food to be prepared, and celebrations with friends. On Christmas Day, there's more food, plus time with family enjoying time together and some gifts.
Christmas Day Food:
This year's dinner was very similar to last years feast, with a few changes:
- Turkey
Local, organic, free-range bird from Uptons of Bassett, roasted with rapeseed oil, lemons, clementines, garlic, onions, carrots, celery, sage and thyme - Gravy
Made from roasting juices and organic chicken stock - Pork shoulder stuffing with red onion, chestnuts, sage and cranberries
A Jamie Oliver recipe with some modifications, including dried cranberries added and gf bread crumbs - Sausages in bacon
Use thinly slice pancetta for wrapping for extra flavour and crunch - Roast potatoes
Par-boiled, left to cool, then roast in rapeseed oil, with rosemary - Roast parsnips
Par-boiled, left to cool, then roasted with honey - Carrots with butter, sugar and star anis
Cooked in butter, sugar and star anise from a Tom Kerridge recipe - Cauliflower cheese
Gently roasted cauliflower covered in a basic béchamel sauce, with lots of cheese in, and cheesy breadcrumbs over the top - Brussels sprouts with bacon and chestnuts
A BBC Good Food recipe - Red cabbage with apple and balsamic vinegar
An amalgamation of a number of recipes, including spices, red onions, apples, brown sugar and balsamic vinegar - Cranberry and apple sauce
Another amalgamation of recipes from all over, following the basics of this Jamie Oliver recipe, but with my own spices added - Green beans with lemon
Lightly boiled and dressed in fresh lemon and rapeseed oil - Butternut squash mash with spiced roasted seeds
Roasted the squash whole, mashed the flesh and served with the seeds roasted in cumin and paprika - Steamed Spinach
Simply steamed and served
Christmas Gifts
I got some amazing gifts, including my favourite scent (Givenchy Pour Homme Blue Label) and a Hans Zimmer Masterclass.
I got my family all kinds of bits. Particularly successful gifts were books for my Dad (including Post-Capitalism: A Guide to Our Future by Paul Mason — one of my favourite reads from 2017), and "Strong Girls Club" tops for my nieces from Muthahood.
Vlogmas 2017 (Week Three): Finishing Work For Christmas
Week three of vlogmas includes lots of songwriting, food, and finishing work for Christmas.
Vlogmas 2017 (Week Two): Integr8 Christmas Quiz, Creeper and Star Wars
Week Two of Vlogmas includes some time working on new music, hosting the Integr8 Christmas Quiz, seeing my pals in Creeper smash it at Southampton Guildhall, and catching the mighnight showing of Star Wars.
Vlogmas 2017 (Week One): A Christmas Wedding, Birthday and More
The first week of vlogmas 2017 includes Rosie's birthday, time with family and friends, Christmas concerts at work, time spent with friends, and Laura and Pete's wedding.
Family Birthday Party
I felt very spoilt this weekend, getting to spend time enjoying family, food and presents.
Birthday Games
My wonderful friend Ellie hosted a night of food, games, and a surprise birthday cake on Saturday night.
iPhone Summer Vlogs
iPhone vlogs filmed, soundtracked and edited on iPhone in the Summer of 2017.
They say the best camera is the one you have on you. And so, as moments flew by this summer, I tried to capture them using just my iPhone. To me, the moments I was able to record were more personal and more spontaneous as a result.
