Around
I don’t know how many pop songs have been written about shitting yourself, but I think this might be the most upbeat.
It’s probably also one of the most upbeat song I’ve ever written. Which is kind of strange, considering I wrote it at a time when I was staring one of my most serious periods of darkness in the face.
I was a few months in to a flare up of Ulcerative Colitis — an inflammatory bowel disease I was first diagnosed with in 2014 — which had returned after more than three years in remission. I had all these physical symptoms back — including some top quality pant shitting moments — and I could feel this huge fog of fatigue and depression setting in
Writing this song, I found myself refusing to ignore that; refusing to make the same mistakes I made when I was diagnosed the first time; refusing to simply push those feelings down and just to keeping on keeping on.
I faced up to the reality. I spoke up. I had honest, open, and often very difficult conversations about how I was feeling. I started asking people their best pant shitting stories.
‘Around’ actually came out a few weeks ago, and I’ve only just gotten round to writing, editing and posting about it here on the blog. As I’ve spoken about before, I find releasing music pretty tough emotionally and mentally, and yesterday was a really tough day for me: after six weeks of treatment, the amazing team at the hospital got me in for new blood tests and a whole new treatment plan.
I have this weird tendency to write songs where their true meaning becomes deeper after they’re out. After yesterday, I came back to this song: realising how much it means to me, and how different things are the second time around. A huge part of that is being more open and honest with both myself and others, and so, was when I realised that, I had to get this blog post up without delay.
Over the past six months, I’ve learnt so much about myself; my body; my thoughts and emotions; and about never trusting anyone who doesn’t have a great pant shitting story to share.
A Week of iPhone Vlogs
It was kind of accidental, but after having so much fun making a whole bunch of iPhone vlogs last week I just carried on during the first week back at work, and made one every day. Each one comes with a brand new soundtrack sketch too.
Video Blog: Westquay Science Day
A couple of weeks ago, my sister and I took our niece and nephew out for the day.
We headed over to the science day that Winchester Science Centre were running at Westquay. As the snow started to fall, we popped in to Byron Burger for lunch, followed by cookies for pudding. Finally, a trip to Mayflower Park ended with warming hot chocolates back home before saying goodbye.
Instagram Story
Video Blog: Festival of Lights 2018
Last year, Westquay hosted the first Festival of Lights, and looking back on the video blog and soundtrack from an evening trip, it's one of my favourites of the year. This year we took another trip, along with another dinner at Wahaca too.
Instagram Story Archive: Saturday 6 January 2018
An Instagram Story, with original soundtrack from Saturday's breakfast drink with my good friend Pip, followed by a walk through Mayflower Park.
Instagram Story Archive: Friday 5 January 2018
This is an archive of the Instagram Story I took walking around Ocean Village, after work on Friday, with an original soundtrack inspired by the fading light on a cold January evening.
2017
2017 has been full of unexpected developments. Along the way this year, I've found that documenting life, as moments fly by, has helped me find space to pause and reflect.
Work
Last years Music Tech Project filled most of my work time at the start of 2017, coming to an end in July. The project was a huge success, with over 2,000 young people (many of whom face challenging circumstance in their life) taking part in over 250 hours of music-making with iPads.
The end of the Music Tech Project overlapped with being made Interim Hub Manager at Southampton Music Hub in May, covering for my boss during her maternity leave this year. As part of my new role, I've helped oversee the formation of Southampton Music Trust — a new charity helping advance music education in the city— and helped write the business plan that secured a further two years of funding from Arts Council England.
Finally, in November I joined the team at Solent University as an Associate Lecturer in Popular Music Production. I've spent the past two months finding my feet and helping out with the end of a few modules for semester one. In semester two I will be taking on my own modules, something I'm really excited to do.
Family
When I was studying at University, and my first Niece was young, I had time to spend with her most weeks. As the family has grown — including the beautiful Imogen Faith who arrived in March — work and school and other life circumstances have changed, and there is less regular time spent with my nieces and nephews. Instead of regular time, I've had to focus on trying to spend quality time with all three little ones instead. In June I got to take two of them to the Isle of Wight, and this Christmas was incredibly special, sharing time and gifts with them that I hope will show them know how much they are loved and valued.
Friends
I will confess, being busy with work, and life, has meant that I've not had enough time to spend with friends this year. Luckily, I have some amazing friends who are understanding and supportive, and are still willing to see me, even after months of radio silence. To see my friends Emma and Davyd raise their adorable daughter in to a kind, thoughtful and brave little girl has been incredible — I'm in awe of the beautiful family they are making together. Also, having friends who share and support my love of making music has been a a very special thing to share this year.
Music
I've continued to work with Emma on new music for her Pyra project this year. The album is really taking shape, and whilst we someimes feel frustrated at how long it is taking to complete, the process, with all it's stops and starts, has meant that the ideas, and the creative minds that make them, have been nurtured with kindness — it is very special to work with someone who values both of those things.
I put up two new soundtracks in August, Style and Play, which I worked on with Matt Mead and David Fletcher, and have become the starting point for the six pieces of music I'm currently working on for release in 2018. Play was featured by BBC Introducing South, including getting to talk about how creating music for this blog has helped improve my mental health.
Trough the Stars was a multimedia art piece I worked on in October, made using astronomy photographic plates from University of Southampton. I was really delighted by the final images and the soundscape that emerged too.
Visual
My visual style has both developed, and changed this year. Trying to document more of the every day has meant that I've used my phone camera more, and my DSLR less. I've used Instagram stories a lot this year, and I really enjoy that format: I really want to do more with them in 2018.
2017 has been full of unexpected developments. Along the way this year, I've found that documenting life, as moments fly by, has helped me find space to pause and reflect. My hope is that in 2018, I can be more present, more reflective, and more balanced.
What did 2017 bring in your life, and how have you found space to reflect upon those changes? What are your goals for 2018?
My Seven Favourite Blog Posts from 2017
This blog has grown and changed in so many unexpected ways this year. Here are seven of my favourite posts from 2017:
- Breakout Youth
In February it was an honour to make a video with this amazing group, who support LGBT+ youth in Southampton, and help them win a Hampshire Pride Award - Imogen Faith
Causing quite a panic on her arrival, Imogen Faith was born in March, making me an uncle for the third time - An Adventure on the Isle of Wight
In June, I took my Niece and Nephew to the Isle of Wight, and the vlog of the day is one of my favourites of the year - Style
In August, I made a soundtrack and video blog with Matt and Dave, all written and recorded in one day - Play
At the end of August, we followed up Style with Play, which later was featured on BCC Introducing South - Through the Stars
In October I made a multimedia art piece using astronomy photographic plates donated by University of Southampton - Vlogmas 2017
Filming every day in the lead up to Christmas was a huge challenge, but also incredible fun. I love weeks one, two and three, but the 18 minute video blog for week four is my favourite of the year
Vlogmas 2017 (Week Four): Christmas Day with Family, Food and Presents
The final week of vlogmas includes the lead up to, and the big days its self.
In the lead up up the big day, there's lot of food to be prepared, and celebrations with friends. On Christmas Day, there's more food, plus time with family enjoying time together and some gifts.
Christmas Day Food:
This year's dinner was very similar to last years feast, with a few changes:
- Turkey
Local, organic, free-range bird from Uptons of Bassett, roasted with rapeseed oil, lemons, clementines, garlic, onions, carrots, celery, sage and thyme - Gravy
Made from roasting juices and organic chicken stock - Pork shoulder stuffing with red onion, chestnuts, sage and cranberries
A Jamie Oliver recipe with some modifications, including dried cranberries added and gf bread crumbs - Sausages in bacon
Use thinly slice pancetta for wrapping for extra flavour and crunch - Roast potatoes
Par-boiled, left to cool, then roast in rapeseed oil, with rosemary - Roast parsnips
Par-boiled, left to cool, then roasted with honey - Carrots with butter, sugar and star anis
Cooked in butter, sugar and star anise from a Tom Kerridge recipe - Cauliflower cheese
Gently roasted cauliflower covered in a basic béchamel sauce, with lots of cheese in, and cheesy breadcrumbs over the top - Brussels sprouts with bacon and chestnuts
A BBC Good Food recipe - Red cabbage with apple and balsamic vinegar
An amalgamation of a number of recipes, including spices, red onions, apples, brown sugar and balsamic vinegar - Cranberry and apple sauce
Another amalgamation of recipes from all over, following the basics of this Jamie Oliver recipe, but with my own spices added - Green beans with lemon
Lightly boiled and dressed in fresh lemon and rapeseed oil - Butternut squash mash with spiced roasted seeds
Roasted the squash whole, mashed the flesh and served with the seeds roasted in cumin and paprika - Steamed Spinach
Simply steamed and served
Christmas Gifts
I got some amazing gifts, including my favourite scent (Givenchy Pour Homme Blue Label) and a Hans Zimmer Masterclass.
I got my family all kinds of bits. Particularly successful gifts were books for my Dad (including Post-Capitalism: A Guide to Our Future by Paul Mason — one of my favourite reads from 2017), and "Strong Girls Club" tops for my nieces from Muthahood.
Vlogmas 2017 (Week Three): Finishing Work For Christmas
Week three of vlogmas includes lots of songwriting, food, and finishing work for Christmas.
Vlogmas 2017 (Week Two): Integr8 Christmas Quiz, Creeper and Star Wars
Week Two of Vlogmas includes some time working on new music, hosting the Integr8 Christmas Quiz, seeing my pals in Creeper smash it at Southampton Guildhall, and catching the mighnight showing of Star Wars.
Vlogmas 2017 (Week One): A Christmas Wedding, Birthday and More
The first week of vlogmas 2017 includes Rosie's birthday, time with family and friends, Christmas concerts at work, time spent with friends, and Laura and Pete's wedding.
Weekly Vlog: First Week in a New Job
I started my new job this week, as an associate lecturer in Popular Music Production at Solent University. Back at my other job, it was a busy week of teaching, and getting the business plan finished and sent off. Somewhere in between all that, there was time to make music, preview the new Nuffield Southampton Theatre City venue, and start making my annual Christmas cake.
Knowing it would be a busy week, I decided to film a little bit of each day, and then sit down at the weekend to see what that footage would become. Together with some audio experiments and soundtrack clips from other projects, it turns out I had a weekly vlog to upload.
Through the Stars
Through the Stars is a multimedia art piece, made using astronomy photographic plates kindly donated University of Southampton.
Through the Stars is in three parts:
- Photographs: by aligning each plate with the location they map in the sky, the photographs overlay the stars on to the landscape behind
- Soundscape: having algorithmically generated melodies from each photograph, these are manipulated and arranged to create a musical soundscape of the images
- Documentation: a video blog and b-roll images that document the process of creating the piece
Pyra Vocal Session
One of many weekends spent with Emma Panas, recording vocals for her album.
Family Birthday Party
I felt very spoilt this weekend, getting to spend time enjoying family, food and presents.
Birthday Games
My wonderful friend Ellie hosted a night of food, games, and a surprise birthday cake on Saturday night.
iPhone Summer Vlogs
iPhone vlogs filmed, soundtracked and edited on iPhone in the Summer of 2017.
They say the best camera is the one you have on you. And so, as moments flew by this summer, I tried to capture them using just my iPhone. To me, the moments I was able to record were more personal and more spontaneous as a result.
